Sex by Numbers

cover12smallThe day after Lucie Maddox’s husband James announces, “It’s not working,” and that he’s leaving her after the best part of thirty years of supposedly monogamous marriage, she finds a magazine article suggesting that she’s been living like a nun. In particular, she reads that the average woman has had thirteen partners by the time she’s fifty. At forty-nine, she’s only had two, and the first hardly counted.
That evening, she finds some pornographic videos on James’s computer, which serves as even more of an eye opener.
Her best friend Jenny guides her towards the uncharted waters of Internet dating, so beginning a truly rollercoaster education. Be warned, this novel contains strong language and explicit sex scenes.
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“A corker of a book.”



Tilly Lake’s Road Trip

roadtripsmallAs a child, Tilly dreamt that Prince Charming would drive her around Britain in a pink car. At nineteen she married John Lake. When she was fifty-eight, John was found dead in a hotel room wearing nothing but a condom. Using the life insurance money, Tilly buys an American car (black, not pink), hires a twenty-five year old Welshman (who is short, dark and handsome), and sets off to fulfil her childhood dream.
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“Great read, great characters, great fun.”



Flying Lessons

A love story of sortsWhen Swann was referred to the psychiatric clinic for assessment, he assumed it would be purely routine. But then he met Alison.
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“Magical” “Left field” “Recommended!”

“Brilliant plot and I loved the blend of emotion and humour.”




Ernestine And Walter

amazoncoverErnestine runs a pasty shop in the Cornish town of St Ives. Walter is Mrs Trewednack’s cat, who likes to sit on the windowsill, and beg for fishy titbits when the fishermen come in to buy their pasties for lunch.
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“The cat’s meow.”




Kissing The Abyss

Colin’s life wasn’t going well, until he found a mermaid.

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Short story.




When Jane Jones finds out about her husband’s affairs, she sets out to get her own back by sleeping with Andrew. However, that turns out just to be the start.

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Short story.



Life After Pole Dancing

Angela Parker thinks that gin is a vitamin and that a stuffed olive counts as two of her five a day. On the same day as she loses her job as a topless pole dancer, she meets Geoffrey, a young curate, and they watch four people dragging a body away. That’s just the start. Contains strong language and sex scenes.

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“A warm, funny, and life-affirming read.”


Where Love Takes You
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Evelyn and Tammy meet two handsome Englishmen at a ceremony to present Henry with an award in Oregon, and a brief romance ensues, cut short when the men return to Britain. However, an offer from a developer to buy the women’s farms gives the two women the chance to travel, and Henry the chance to race in England.

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Old friends

Here’s a bit of a school photograph from Mayfield College, when my friend Richard and I were both thirteen. We’re the two in the back row, behind the boys who are doing their best to look like the Kray twins. Richard is the taller of us, wearing the glasses. I’d been removed from the Grammar School on the grounds that my place there might better be used by someone who was actually interested in learning, so I’d only been at Mayfield for a month or two. I was the youngest in our form, and Richard the second youngest.

Like all the boarders at school, we were in the cadets. Another of my fellow pupils, who was the Company Sergeant Major, told me a few years ago that I was the worst cadet he’d ever seen, but that didn’t stop me making the rank of corporal. Richard (deservedly) made sergeant.

When we left school, we lost touch, but through a couple of coincidences, we managed to get back in contact a few years ago, and we’ve been to some school reunions. We live about three hundred miles apart, so we don’t see much of each other, but I (and my girlfriend) had a lovely lunch with him (and his wife) last week, when he was on holiday in Cornwall.

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton sang a song called “You Can’t Make Old Friends,” but they’re wrong. All you have to do is make new friends, and then wait.

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